Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The Oscar Post: Picks and Predictions

Due to an egregious oversight by the Academy, FMR was not given a vote in this year's Oscars. While we contemplated boycotting everything Oscar this year, we felt we deserved a voice in this process, albeit unofficially.

So with some hesitation, we present to you' our Oscar predictions.....

<Applause>

Best Supporting Actress

Mike: Will win: Jennifer Lawrence. Should win: June Squibb
Comments: Jennifer Lawrence is gold right now, I feel like she'll win an Oscar every year for the next three or four years. I haven't actually seen Nebraska, but I really like the name June Squibb. It may be one of my favorite names of all time. She looks like a very pleasant person who would make a delicious batch of cookies and other baked goods.

Paige: Will win: Sally Hawkins. Should win: Paige
Comments: I love Sally Hawkins. You don't know who Sally Hawkins is? She's frickin' amazing. They named a high-school dance after her.

Best Supporting Actor

Mike: Will win: Jonah Hill. Should win: Jonah Hill
Comments: Jonah Hill was also nominated last year for Moneyball, but lost. Last year, the thought was, "Wow, Jonah Hill and Oscar nomination in the same sentence, my head is exploding!". Now it feels like, "Ok, he's officially a real actor, almost A-list in fact. Superbad is in the rear view mirror He's ready to win an Oscar."

Paige: Will win: Jared Leto. Should win: Paige
Comments: Someone is going to win something for Dallas Buyer's Club. I feel like this is an upset year. I'll be upset when I don't win.

Best Actress

Mike: Will win: Amy Adams. Should win: Judi Dench
Comments: A veritable smorgasbord of beloved actresses in this field! Has a negative word been spoken about any of these actresses? Judi Dench, Cate Blanchett, and Meryl Streep are nominated every time they set foot on a film set. People are just starting to recognize how great Amy Adams is. Sandra Bullock is Sandra Bullock. Tough call here. Adams was very strong in American Hustle, and I think she takes it. Streep was good enough to garner a nomination as usual, but considering the film didn't receive much attention from the Academy, I can't imagine she'll win. I'm going with Dench as my choice, because this is the year of the elderly.

Paige: Will win: Judi Dench. Should win: Paige
Comments: It will be no surprise to anyone with one whit of sense that Judi Dench has a Wikipedia page. But did you know that her awards and nominations have a Wikipedia page of their own? The Academy has nominated her quarce for a Best Actress award and she has not once won. (Although, she does have a win for Supporting Actress.) I amend my earlier comment. Not only will this be a night of Oscar upsets, it will be a British invasion of immeasurable proportions.

Actually...hmm...on second thought, it will in fact be measurable. There's only a finite number of awards.

Best Actor

Mike:  Will win: Christian Bale. Should win: Leonardo Dicaprio
Comments: I don't see how you can't give it to Leo. He was in nearly every shot of a 3-hour movie and was great in all of it. The Academy will select Christian Bale though, because they love actors and actresses who transform themselves physically for a role. While Bale's performance was very good, the transformation from
fit as a fiddle to becoming slightly overweight doesn't sound all that rigorous. "I hope you're ready for this role Christian, you'll need to eat nothing but donuts and pizza for two months. We all admire your tireless dedication to your craft."

Paige: Will win: Chiwetel Ejiofor. Should win: Matthew McConaughey
Comments: What did I say earlier about the British invasion?? Astonishingly, I do not think I should win this award. My performance lacked depth and I didn't resonate emotionally with myself. On the other hand, I used to hate Matthew McConaughey. I don't anymore.


Best Picture

Mike:  Will win: 12 Years a Slave. Should win: Wolf of Wall Street
Comments: Wolf of Wall Street begins with a character snorting cocaine from a hooker's caboose. I haven't seen 12 Years A Slave,and I don't doubt that it's a fine film, but I am going to assume it starts with something else. Something much more serious and important. In fact, I am also guessing the movie itself is much more serious and important, hence my prediction. The Academy is a very serious organization. They can't tolerate anyone more controversial than Billy Crystal as a host for crying out loud.

Paige: Will win: 12 Years a Slave. Should win: Her
Comments: I haven't seen 12 Years a Slave, but I know the Academy won't ignore a movie with a social message. It's possible they'll go for Captain Phillips or Dallas Buyers Club. However, I've also detected favoritism with respect to setting, namely that preference is given to those films set in the U.S. of A. Captain Phillips takes place in a foreign country. So does Dallas Buyers Club.

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