Turtle: The Incredible Journey: Paige's Memorial for Lonesome George

This movie is rated G.

I was traumatized within the first 30 seconds.

Here's why:

This situation does not end well.
For the turtle.
Hatchling.
Who is only 5 minutes old.
And about 500 of his brethren.

I know; everyone knows this about turtles. I guess I just didn't need to see the massacre, nay, the feeding frenzy, in action. Did I mention this movie is rated G?

Okay, let's get down to it. My sister made me watch this movie because she says I'm a movie snob. I take umbrage with this label. I am not a snob, except when it comes to white wine, hotels, and limousine services.

And turtle fondue. One of the rarest delicacies on Earth.

But I don't eat turtle fondue.

Because I am not a snob.

Nor am I a crab.

I am a card-carrying member of the Save the Manatee Foundation.

...which has nothing to do with anything.

...and isn't true.