Saturday, March 30, 2013
Thursday, March 28, 2013
New Look
How do you feel about the visual changes we've made to the site?
I don't know about you, but I feel grape!
In doing research for this post, I noticed that a Google search for "grape ape" resulted in a few pictures of the cherished, wholesome childhood character that you see pictured above. Most of the pictures however, were close-up shots of Satan's herb, marijuana. Unbeknownst to me, there is a strain of marijuana called "grape ape!"
I see no reason not to name every strain after 80's cartoon characters. Huckleberry Hound, Barney Rubble, Bam-Bam, Papa Smurf, Shaggy, and Thundarr the Barbarian all sound like things one would feel comfortable inhaling should one choose to partake in such an activity.
Get thee behind me Grape Ape!
I don't know about you, but I feel grape!
In doing research for this post, I noticed that a Google search for "grape ape" resulted in a few pictures of the cherished, wholesome childhood character that you see pictured above. Most of the pictures however, were close-up shots of Satan's herb, marijuana. Unbeknownst to me, there is a strain of marijuana called "grape ape!"
I see no reason not to name every strain after 80's cartoon characters. Huckleberry Hound, Barney Rubble, Bam-Bam, Papa Smurf, Shaggy, and Thundarr the Barbarian all sound like things one would feel comfortable inhaling should one choose to partake in such an activity.
Get thee behind me Grape Ape!
Monday, March 25, 2013
Inane Internet Polls
While combing the internet looking for something very important and work-related, I came across a poll on Yahoo that seemed incredibly pointless and mundane, even for the internet:
POLL
Yes, you read that correctly. 17,170 people took the time to vote on this (so far). I'm a big basketball fan, and an even bigger fan of time wasting, but this is utterly ridiculous.
Oh and Yahoo, we are onto you. We know you don't really care about the final tally. We know you aren't sitting around the water cooler talking about the latest ups and downs of the "yes I'm a fan" voters. "Bonnie in accounting just e-mailed me, and 'yes' is up 6% since lunch!" This is just a shameless way to increase traffic, or "hits" to your site as you like to call them.
Now I understand that Yahoo is more heavily trafficked than this site, but we have not had anywhere near that amount of people read our insightful, funny, original content since the inception of the blog.
Could it be that we are too challenging? Too insightful? Too funny? Don't answer that.....
With the public's love of mindless polls in mind, I've decided to add a few polls to this post, in hopes of enticing some of the more...how do I put this nicely.... shamefully illiterate readers to take a peek at what we have to offer.
*Editors note- It's really time consuming and hard to put a poll into a post, so you won't actually be able to vote and see the results, unless you'd like to put your answers in the comments. Paige will tally them up sometime in the future.
Poll
Which is larger, an elephant or a bumble bee?
() Elephant
() Bumble Bee
() About the same size
() I don't know
Poll
Do you like movies?
() Yes
() No
() I don't know
Poll
How do you feel about the internet?
() It's great! I hope it's here to stay
() I don't like it, I wish it would go away
() I don't know
Poll
What is your favorite number?
() One (1)
() Two (2)
() Other
() I don't know
Welcome new readers! Now that you've found us, we hope you're here to stay.
POLL
Yes, you read that correctly. 17,170 people took the time to vote on this (so far). I'm a big basketball fan, and an even bigger fan of time wasting, but this is utterly ridiculous.
Oh and Yahoo, we are onto you. We know you don't really care about the final tally. We know you aren't sitting around the water cooler talking about the latest ups and downs of the "yes I'm a fan" voters. "Bonnie in accounting just e-mailed me, and 'yes' is up 6% since lunch!" This is just a shameless way to increase traffic, or "hits" to your site as you like to call them.
Now I understand that Yahoo is more heavily trafficked than this site, but we have not had anywhere near that amount of people read our insightful, funny, original content since the inception of the blog.
Could it be that we are too challenging? Too insightful? Too funny? Don't answer that.....
With the public's love of mindless polls in mind, I've decided to add a few polls to this post, in hopes of enticing some of the more...how do I put this nicely.... shamefully illiterate readers to take a peek at what we have to offer.
*Editors note- It's really time consuming and hard to put a poll into a post, so you won't actually be able to vote and see the results, unless you'd like to put your answers in the comments. Paige will tally them up sometime in the future.
Poll
Which is larger, an elephant or a bumble bee?
() Elephant
() Bumble Bee
() About the same size
() I don't know
Poll
Do you like movies?
() Yes
() No
() I don't know
Poll
How do you feel about the internet?
() It's great! I hope it's here to stay
() I don't like it, I wish it would go away
() I don't know
Poll
What is your favorite number?
() One (1)
() Two (2)
() Other
() I don't know
Welcome new readers! Now that you've found us, we hope you're here to stay.
Brilliant Idea #1,112: Edible Bicycles
Let's face it, riding bicycles is a pain in the ass. But storing them is a pain in the neck. That's a lot of neck-ass pain, all for the purpose of staying healthy and reducing one's carbon footprint. But sometimes you just have to ride a bike. And maybe you just don't feel like going through the trouble of having it checked in by the hotel valet.
The solution: Edible bicycles.
It works much the way it sounds: You get to where you're going and then you eat your bicycle. You'll be hungry because you just pedaled your bike to wherever it is you are from wherever it was you came from. No toting around the extra weight of a lock. No worrying about how much to tip the bike valet. No fear of having an expensive belonging stolen from you...
Next on the docket: the edible wedding ring - for when it's just not convenient to be wearing that pesky article of frippery.
The solution: Edible bicycles.
It works much the way it sounds: You get to where you're going and then you eat your bicycle. You'll be hungry because you just pedaled your bike to wherever it is you are from wherever it was you came from. No toting around the extra weight of a lock. No worrying about how much to tip the bike valet. No fear of having an expensive belonging stolen from you...
Next on the docket: the edible wedding ring - for when it's just not convenient to be wearing that pesky article of frippery.
Polar Bears!
Thinks to himself...Mmm, baby, you are looking food ta-day!
This is from an alleged "terrifying moment". Pssht! This is nothing! "Terrifying" is what I call the horrifying circumstances in my niece's diapers.
Monday, March 18, 2013
The 101st Glob Post
It's been an amazing journey. It seems like just the other day we were discussing starting a movie review blog. Now here we are, in Tijuana, living off our glob earnings, living the good life as they say. We knew this would be a profitable venture, just not this profitable.
Enough bragging. The reason this post exists is because we have made 99 posts, and now, finally, we are on the historic 101st post. With that in mind, we won't continue to go on and on about our success and our now-lavish lifestyle. Instead, we will look back on several things that we intended to post, but never quite got around to:
Typos that could have changed the landscape of our cinematic heritage forever. For example, in Karate Kid, an extra 'n' would turn the well-known line, "finish him!" into "Finnish him!" The movie concludes with the character of Daniel Russo developing what would become the most lethal martial art in the world: Norwegian Swing Chair Karate.
Senior citizen storm names: Unrecognized victims of age discrimination. For example, Hurricane Ned, Typhoon Beverly.
Movie reviews. Zero Dark Thirty, The Master, and Skyfall are just a few of the movies we've seen and have considered reviewing, but haven't.
Great (but fake) band names. A few prime examples include The Strong Haircuts, Elephants in the Tomb, Zero SkyMaster, Bea Arthur Vonnegut.
Glamour words, such as crestfallen, frivolity, beguile, capacious.
Would any of these posts have hit the mark? Absolutely, they all would have. We do have to be somewhat discerning to maintain this image of ours though.
Our butler is beckoning, we must go, we are wanted in the conservatory at the guest house. Bye!
Enough bragging. The reason this post exists is because we have made 99 posts, and now, finally, we are on the historic 101st post. With that in mind, we won't continue to go on and on about our success and our now-lavish lifestyle. Instead, we will look back on several things that we intended to post, but never quite got around to:
Typos that could have changed the landscape of our cinematic heritage forever. For example, in Karate Kid, an extra 'n' would turn the well-known line, "finish him!" into "Finnish him!" The movie concludes with the character of Daniel Russo developing what would become the most lethal martial art in the world: Norwegian Swing Chair Karate.
Senior citizen storm names: Unrecognized victims of age discrimination. For example, Hurricane Ned, Typhoon Beverly.
Movie reviews. Zero Dark Thirty, The Master, and Skyfall are just a few of the movies we've seen and have considered reviewing, but haven't.
Great (but fake) band names. A few prime examples include The Strong Haircuts, Elephants in the Tomb, Zero SkyMaster, Bea Arthur Vonnegut.
Glamour words, such as crestfallen, frivolity, beguile, capacious.
Would any of these posts have hit the mark? Absolutely, they all would have. We do have to be somewhat discerning to maintain this image of ours though.
Our butler is beckoning, we must go, we are wanted in the conservatory at the guest house. Bye!
Monday, March 11, 2013
Introducing "IMBO": The latest completely useless acronym
I aM Barack Obama
I Might Be Okay
In My Best Outfit
Insane Miraculously Benign Ox
I aM Blog Obfuscation
This is an alert to readers that this is not the 100th post. There actually is not a 100th post. Nor is it the 101st post, which will actually be posted at a later date when we see fit, in a celebratory manner.
 |
| I aM Beyonce, Oops! |
I Might Be Okay
 |
| Then again, maybe not... |
In My Best Outfit
 |
| And how! |
Insane Miraculously Benign Ox
 |
| ???? |
I aM Blog Obfuscation
This is an alert to readers that this is not the 100th post. There actually is not a 100th post. Nor is it the 101st post, which will actually be posted at a later date when we see fit, in a celebratory manner.
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