Forgotten President of the Day: Rutherford Birchard Hayes

However did we let such an astonishing name sink into the caliginous* depths of American history?

Rutherford Birchard Hayes. Say it with me... Rutherford. Birchard. Hayes. So poetic! So dignified! So arboreal!

Trivia

• Nickname: Dark-Horse President
• Legacy: With wife, Lucy, conducted the first Easter egg roll on the White House lawn
• Technology: Was president when Alexander Graham Bell installed the first telephone at the White House and the first to use a typewriter (be still, my heart) - ahem, so now we can put to rest some of those erroneously perpetuated derisions
• Wife: "Lemonade Lucy" - wouldn't serve alchohol in the W.H. - Uh oh. That's just not American. I mean, that's a real stumbling block, a P.R. problem if I ever heard of one.

In any case, Rutherford Birchard, on this day that has nothing to do with your birthday or the day you died or became president, on this day that has no relevance to you or your family or your presidency whatsoever, I tip my hat to you. Someday, I aspire to be known as "Dark-Horse Hammock Jockey Mumbler." I'm just biding my time...

Look at him! Hey girl, he looks like Ryan Gosling!

*-Did you really just use that word?
- Hells yeah, I did!