- Is the main character named Jack?
- At some point, does Jack reminisce about a great moment in sports history?
- Does the soundtrack sound like Vangelis on steroids?
- Is there a scene that seems to exist solely for the purpose of making the audience watch Jack ride a futuristic motorcycle through a futuristic landscape set to futuristic Vangelis-on-steroids music?
- Does Jack soliloquize to such hackneyed excess throughout the film that you question how the screenplay even made it into production?
- Is there a smoking hot, tall female character in love with Jack? (Trick question: That's almost every movie in Hollywood. The real question is: Are there two??)
If you answered "Yes" to most of these questions, you are probably watching a Tom Cruise movie.
If you answered "Yes" to all of these questions, you are definitely watching a Tom Cruise movie.
Oblivion is a Tom Cruise movie.
In case you weren't sure...
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| Hi! I'm Tom Cruise! I'm on a motorcycle. I ride motorcycles in movies. Look at me! I'm standing on this motorcycle. I'm Tom Cruise!! Via |
One more question: was there running involved?
ReplyDeleteHm. There wasn't any running that I can remember. Now I'm beginning to question if it really was a Tom Cruise movie at all.
ReplyDeleteThere also wasn't any dancing. Very disappointing.